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Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Writing Therapy



I've never told my kids ALL of the sordid details.

I have told them any of the nasty, sordid details of my life that they've asked about...except their fathers.

As a way to protect them? Perhaps. Knowing some of the nasty details of your parentage can be harmful to your perception of your self. Frankly, I didn't want to be responsible for that.

But I really wanted them to primarily form their opinions, thoughts and ideas of their fathers directly from those sources and their interactions with them, not from me.

Besides, just because I didn't have healthy relationships with their fathers didn't mean they wouldn't, right?

Right?!

Kind of wrong on that one.

Stuff has happened recently. The SD (sperm donor) for my oldest child has triggered the past...through a message he sent to her.

Really, I WAS over it. I was over everything he ever did or said to me. I have been focused on my girls for so long that any pain or anger from that time period hasn't existed in my present. I talk to them frankly. Even about the things that happened back when. And my girls know that any present anger I have toward their fathers is (typically) a direct result of how they treat those girls in the present.

Until that message the SD sent M.

This is going to be my therapy place for a little while. Jump ship now if you don't want to read about it. Both of my daughters are aware that I plan on doing this, and they're both agreeable to it.I will be using initials for the most part rather than names. But I think I'm sticking to SD for that first one. Really, it kind of fits him.

Anyone who really knows me will know most of the characters in this documentary. lol

Sorry, got to throw some comedy in where I can because things are about to get heavy.

Step one. Start.
Check.