Monday, July 9, 2012

For His Sake

When the heart breaks
And the journey makes you weak
And all that’s left
Is to let go
Be strong
Walk away
For his sake
Knowing your love
Is never better shown
Let the tears flow freely
And mourn not for loss
Acknowledge with grace
That true love is sought

Saturday, July 7, 2012


Relegated to the past
A never more deserving place
Nights fraught with rejection
Destiny's mark
Insanity's bliss
Fate's toy
Cleanse the mind
Purge the soul
Glowing bright orb
Calling me home

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Conversations in the Wind

Does he love her?

The best he knows how.

The best way he ever can.
And better than he once did.

She misses the feeling she would get when he held her.

He feels a more depth of feeling while getting to know her again.

He fills the holes she didn’t realize she was living with.

He misses the intimacy…being close, touching fingers and toes.  He loves the intimacy now, the touching of minds and souls (this is some special honesty going on)

She misses having the one person who accepted her in her “everything”

Correction “accepts”…he misses not feeling judged.

She misses that, too.

He is not judged (to his knowledge) but always feels so. He never felt it (if he was) with her.

Never by her. Ever.
Not then. Not now.

He has never had it in him to judge her, she is beyond judgement.

She has been lost without him.

They have found each other and can’t be lost again.

Distance has always managed to separate them.

Being afraid to be judged because of others is unhealthy for her.
But not time…time rules distance.
As long as there is time there is a future.

She has never wanted to go back in time and make changes.
Until now.
And the future statement caused a flutter in her stomach.

If he or she were to dwell on the past, the present would be uncomfortable.  If he or she were to makes changes, the future could not be as it is written.
He's sorry for the flutter.
His guts are in turmoil. He has made a vow, a vow that only time can destroy. He has found also, love in an unforeseen place.  A love that can not reach its full potential. His guts are in turmoil because under different circumstances he has already seen this movie.  His heart is light because he found love in an unforeseen place. He has found a kindred spirit in his desolation.  His heart is light because he has his vow.  He is an oddly happy man.  He is a crazy white man.

Why turmoil?
No apologies for the flutter. Please.
She doesn’t want to be the cause of any more turmoil for him.

He almost feels unfaithful.  His logical mind tells him how silly it is. His analytical mind tells him how silly it is.  But his heart says he is acting silly.  That he is being bad (and needs a spanking) and making an idiot of his partner.  Obviously the logical part is winning out but he still has a churning in his belly.
She could not stop the turmoil anymore than he can.  The feelings are there for him whether he wants or likes it.  The odd thing is he wants and likes it.
Which causes the turmoil, why would he want and like it?  He wasn’t looking for it. He just found it again.  He feels like a balloon with too much air…

He only has to say the word and it will stop.
She has become quite proficient in putting the needs of others before her own.

She can’t stop it.  She could fall off the face of the earth, it would never stop.

His partner is no more a fool than her partner.  She doesn’t find either of them a fool.

He does not doubt his partnership. He hopes she understands that.

And she doesn’t doubt her relationship.

He just wonders why?  All the time. In everything, why? He has now found an answer!

She hopes he shares the answer.

A)    Why not?
B)    Why not?
C)    Both a and b
He chooses a, b and c

She hopes his predictions were wrong and that she does, in fact, see him again some day.

Why not indeed?  If he does not come between or before her and her partner and she does not come between him and his partner.  All will be copasetic.
He knows he was wrong. He believes it will happen.

Maybe it’ll have to wait till the next lifetime.
For the benefit of all parties.
Her love for him would not be hidden and could cause issue. Even if not acted on.

He has told his partner if the opportunity presented itself to visit with her he would accept. His partner is “100% fine with it.”
Though she may be too passionate to resist him ;-) he is the model of restraint…..

Not to her recollection…..

He’d hug and kiss the hell out of her but would refrain from slipping her the tongue in front of the partners.
Her recollection is amazingly accurate to his dismay…..
He has grown up and understands how actions that are inappropriate in certain company must be held in reserve.  He has a poker face.  He is capable of making a meeting work without incidient.

She can’t hide the truths her eyes speak.

If she believed she could, as well she would


So she would only be able to look in his eyes…so no one else would notice.

That would be a dead giveaway

He will teach her poker some day.  Though he learned the game of pokeher….never mind, he is such a filthy old man...